I need a friend.


So after spending three years away at seminary, we have now found ourselves in a new place, and I need a friend. Back in September, I told a few people that it was my goal to have a new friend by April 4.


I chose this arbitrary date because of something my mom taught me years ago. I have four kids and each of my postpartum experiences was extremely difficult and painful. The most difficult postpartum lasted over 70 days. During those times, my mother gave me a technique for dealing with pain. She said to choose a date, in the future, where you will feel better. Then focus on getting to that date, one day at a time. It’s a bit of mind-over-matter and although, it doesn’t take the pain away, it does help you focus your thoughts on the positive.

SemFriendsWhile our move to Minnesota has not been physically painful, I miss my friends. So I decided to pick April 4 as the day I would have a new friend. Well, April 4 has come and gone and people are asking, Did you find that friend yet?

Now, if you were to ask my kids that same question, they would say, Yes, of course. I have lots of friends. I don’t remember their names, but they are my best friends. For me, not so easy. Probably because my qualifications for friendship are more complicated than a crumpled note passed in class stating: Will you be my best friend? Circle yes or no.

MaryandMeWhen I think of friends, I think of someone I can call anytime about anything. I think of someone I can ask over for dinner last-minute and not worry about the state of my house. We laugh. We drink coffee. We share stories. We know what we’re thinking and what we’re thinking is exactly what I was thinking. We forgive. We put up with. We care. We trust. And that kind of relationship can’t happen by April 4.

RaineyRobinMeMy kids, however, view every person around them as a potential friend. My eight-year-old thinks Toby’s co-worker is one of his best friends. My daughter considers her whole class her friend. My kindergartner has a lot of friends, but he doesn’t remember their names. And my introverted sixth-grader already has a group of friends at middle school. Middle school! Somehow they met the April 4 deadline with no problem!

I guess I can learn something from my kids. And that is, a potential friend is still a friend – just a friend in the beginning stages. So at this point, the answer to the question, do I have any friends yet, is: yes! I have a list of potential friends. And having a list of potential friends on April 4 is better than no list at all in September.




Filed under Miscellaneous thoughts

5 responses to “I need a friend.

  1. maryswoodruff@aol.com

    What a friend I have in Jesus….

  2. Susan Schoenfuhs

    Love the MD wedding fun shot. Everyone looks happy.

  3. Mary

    Yeah you do!!! 👍💜😀 PWBFF. Hahaha.

  4. Mary

    P.s. Did you have 10 boyfriends in high school???

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